Booze drones

Neo-prohibitionists want to ban things that don't even exist yet

AI generated

It’s the ‘Institute of Alcohol Studies’ again…

It’s just a matter of time: drone-delivered alcohol in your neighbourhood

Finally, the future we were promised.

Imagine a world where drone delivery distribution centres positioned on top of your local shopping centre can respond to online alcohol orders in a matter of minutes, bringing alcohol to your door (front or back) or balcony in record time.

Shut up and take my money!

Alas, Professor Simone Pettigrew, Head of Food Policy at The George Institute for Global Health, does not share my enthusiasm…

While this may be handy on occasion, do we really want the drunken party next door to have access to fast and cheap alcohol deliveries when they run out of booze in the middle of the night?

It would be handy on quite a lot of occasions, Simone, and let’s think about this from the perspective of the drunken partiers. The veil of ignorance and all that.

Research conducted in Australia shows that many consumers are supportive of drone alcohol delivery services, and a sizeable minority plan to use these services to access alcohol once they are available.

Wait, this isn’t even a thing yet? She’s complaining about something that doesn’t exist? Dang!

Experts have expressed concern about the potential impacts of drone-delivered alcohol. These experts represented diverse sectors including health, alcohol regulation, transport, engineering, planning/infrastructure, telecommunications, and insurance.

That is a worry. We shouldn’t rush into anything until the people who work in insurance and telecommunications are happy.

A main concern was that the supply- and demand-side advantages of drones will herald in a new era of enhanced alcohol availability that could have substantial adverse impacts on individuals and society by facilitating higher levels of alcohol use.

How do so many ‘experts’ have an opinion about a hypothetical service? Because Simone asked them. She conducted interviews with 44 ‘stakeholders’ - mostly government employees - and then produced a study in which she outlined their concerns. That was back in 2022 and alcohol drone deliveries still only exist in her imagination. Unsurprisingly, the stakeholders were excited about the prospect of having something new to regulate.

The expectation that population-level alcohol intake will increase was supported by the results of the consumer survey. Around half (47%) of survey respondents thought that overall consumption would increase once these kinds of delivery services are available.

I don’t want to be pedantic, but 47% is less than half. The survey found that 53% of those asked thought that alcohol consumption would stay the same or decline if drones started delivering booze.

And who conducted that survey anyway? Step forward, Simone Pettigrew who surveyed over a thousand Australians and then turned the results into a study in 2024. That study, like her 2022 effort, was funded by the National Health and Medical Research Council. What better use for taxpayers’ money than to provide grants for academics to solicit opinions from people about imaginary services?

It is very difficult to wind back attractive, affordable consumer services after they are in wide use. Once businesses are earning profits and consumers are enjoying the benefits, governments will be reluctant to intervene due to anticipated backlash across multiple fronts.

Why would you want to wind back attractive and affordable consumer services? What are you, some kind of wowser, Simone?

It is therefore critical for restrictions to be placed on drone-delivered alcohol before such services become embedded in society.

That’s the spirit! Let’s nip this popular, albeit theoretical, service in the bud before it has the chance to improve people’s lives!

So what could appropriate alcohol drone delivery restrictions look like?

Brace yourself.

A key policy would be to require all alcohol deliveries to be made by humans.

So a total ban then? Thought so.